I find it hard to take this seriously.

Internet dating. Really, when it comes down to it, it's a joke. That isn't to say that it doesn't work for some people, and that it isn't awesome that people have that option now. However the formula necessary  to create an environment for internet dating must include a convenient breeding ground for some of the most inconvenient traits that most people possess. 


Everyone tries to pretend they don't judge a book by its cover, while in truth its all that most people do. Also, people want to do all of the real work on the internet, postponing any kind of real world interaction for an undetermined time, presumably when the other person has somehow swept them off of their feet. The simple fact is there are two types of people on internet dating sites; people who are motivated to find someone to spend time/ start a serious relationship with, and those who want it to happen enough to put a profile up, but not enough to do any real work. Which is fine, that is their prerogative. The problem is that this setup is just asking for all kinds of games, bullshit, and not to mention stalkerish actions. It's just altogether a volatile situation.


The thing that bothers me the most about it all is how it is, to many people on there, completely preferable to being asked out in person, or meeting people. The area where I live (which is different in many respects from other places I have lived, not just this) it's so bad that if you ask a woman out or show interest in a real world environment, her reaction can be summed up as "People still do this? Um... I don't go out with people who aren't on my Facebook." 


The most ironic situation that has happened to me left me wondering what the 21st century has done to the modern woman. I went for a hair cut, and the stylist was flirting with me a little, and I liked her, but I don't flirt with women who are at work, because I figure they probably get it constantly from men that I wouldn't want to be categorized with. But I liked her, and after I left I was thinking about her for a while. Maybe I would stop by and say hi later, or maybe I would get my hair cut there next time, or figure something out later. At any rate, I am not an expert on picking up women, but I am not afraid to try if I know what I am going to say.


 Well I went home later that day, and got an email that I had a message on the dating website that my profile was on. Upon logging in, reading the message, and looking at the profile, it was the woman who had just cut my hair. I was kind of excited, because now I wouldn't have to figure out a way to come on to her, and because she obviously liked me. Some people may have thought it was weird to find a guy online that you met in person and message them, but I don't, and even if I thought it was a little odd, I am open minded, so I wrote her back.


As it turns out, she had apparently written me the first message earlier that day before I had come to get my hair cut, coincidentally. I only saw it after I got home, after the cut. What this boils down to is that she got the added bonus of meeting a guy she was interested in in person right after sending him a message, and he wasn't even aware, meaning he wasn't trying to impress her. I got the added bonus of finding out after meeting someone in person that I liked, finding out that she did indeed like me an some deeper level than flirting with me to pass the time at work. This is one of those rare occurrences that could be attributed to fate or karma or life in some other way working like it does in chick flicks. That's right... what happened here was that crap that women literally daydream about,  and pay $10.50 to go see, and talk to their girlfriends about how great it would be to meet a guy like that. Serendipity and all that.


So how does she react? Well, she assumed that I came to get my haircut after she sent the message, and told me as much. Understanding the possibility of that bothering her, I assured her it wasn't the case, and made no effort to meet her in person. About a week later i was out at the movies with a friend, and she was also there with someone. I didn't say anything, because I had no desire to make her feel awkward. But then I get home to a message about how creepy it is for me to show up when she is at the theatre, and not to contact her anymore.


I, of course, haven't contacted her, equally as much because it bothered her, as because what the fuck? Weirdo. 


So what have I learned from this? Women are full of shit. No offense women, but all the stuff you insist on daydreaming about, to the extent that the entire comedy genre has been permanently infused with romance, and so much so that boyfriends are forever compared to scripted romance in the most classic of stupid movies, all of it is complete trash, because when life does throw you a bone, you can't handle it. All you had to do was go on a date or talk like a normal person, or what used to be normal, and who knows what could have happened? Instead you were so freaked out by someone who isn't afraid to talk to people outside of the internet that you made yourself look like a fool. Fool.


Don't get me wrong, I am not judging all women everywhere. I think this is a pretty widespread problem, sure, but I know there are still plenty of women out there who make decisions for themselves, based on what they want, instead of hiding behind Sleepless In Seattle and a computer profile while eating Bon Bons. 


Now, I consider myself to be a mildly attractive, mildly funny, mildly well-adjusted guy. So, a mild guy, I suppose.  So, my profile on this un-named dating site should get at least some attention right? Nope. I really don't get it. In fact, when I looked at the list of people that have glanced at my profile but decided not to message me, it's pretty insulting. So, always one to look behind the scenes, i wanted to know what was really going on, so I started a little experiment.


Now, and good experiment is a controlled procedure developed with a certain hypothesis in mind, so.... I guess mine isn't a very good experiment. I'll make a hypothesis later, kay?


I have been going onto my profile and changing the zip code once a week. I have discovered that each different zip code brings with it a different level of interest from the opposite sex. this has been going on for 1 month... let's see the results:


Anchorage Alaska; 3 messages, one of which replied to my response. A ton of people looked at my profile but didn't message me. A shit ton.


Hemet California; 12 messages, and only a little more than that looked. Two women kept talking to me for a while, one of them is still talking to me after I told her what i was doing, and that I live nowhere near her. She thinks it's hilarious.


Hutto, Texas; 3 messages. One of them turned out to be a man posing as women to meet other men. One of the others was trying to get me to sign up for sex website of some sort, and the third was an escort, trying to get me to spend 300 an hour. Is that cheap?


New Baltimore, Michigan; 2 messages, no response to my response.